D is for Demeter
Travis only met Demeter three times during his life.
The first time was after his and Katie's first time. Travis had just proposed. After a few tears and plenty of heated kisses, they ended back up in their room in the apartment they shared with Conner. Luckily, he was out that night, probably doing the same thing they were but with some girl he had just met earlier that day.
The red numbers on the alarm clock read 4:13. Travis sighed as he stared at Katie in the dark. She lay on the bed with her hair sprawled out against the pillow, her mouth slightly open, and her arms hugging the covers to her bare torso tightly. Travis pushed some hair behind her ear and rubbed her cheek with his thumb. He saw her shiver slightly at his touch. She cuddled into his side, trying to gain some warmth. Travis smiled. He couldn't believe it. She was his. All his. And for once, he didn't have to share what was his, and he was glad about it.
Travis sat in silence with Katie curled into his side for a few more minutes, enjoying the quiet peace. A shiver suddenly ran down his spine. Shit. He had to piss. Nice job, he told himself. Way to ruin your moment. He bit down on his lip, praying to as many gods that he could think of that Katie wouldn't wake up as he carefully slid out of her grip and touched his feet to the floor. He sighed in relief when she groaned slightly and rolled over, bringing most of the sheets and blankets with her. He felt around the dark room for his discarded boxers or anything really to cover up his bare bottom half. Even if the only window in the house gave them the gorgeous view of the dumpster, he still didn't feel right just walking around in the nude.
The light of the bathroom flickered on once he closed the door behind him and flipped the switch. Travis sighed, once again in relief, but for a different reason this time. He closed his eyes and rolled his head back. Yesterday's lunch break was the last time he had gone to the bathroom, so he now felt like he was possibly going to explode.
"What exactly does she see in you?" A voice came out of nowhere, startling Travis, making him gasp and jump a bit. Luckily, his bladder had been emptied. Katie would not have enjoyed cleaning that off the walls. In front of the door to the bathroom stood a woman, looking like she was in her mid-forties. Pieces of wheat were braided between black strands of hair. She had on a long, golden dress that reached the floor and shimmered when she moved. The woman looked strangely familiar to Travis, and not just because she had the same exact beautiful brown eyes of his fiancé.
"D-Demeter," he stuttered while hurriedly pushing the seat down with a clang and flushing the toilet. Suddenly feeling self-conscious, he moved his boxers around a bit and tried covering up his chest with his arms, feeling the faint blush on his cheeks.
"Relax, child," Demeter said, rolling her eyes. The comment made his face a bit darker, actually. He was not a child. Who calls a twenty-two year old man a child? A goddess who's hundreds of thousands of years old and who could still totally kick your ass, his brain chided. Shut up! he told it. Now is so not the time! "I do not care about your scrawny, naked chest," she continued, bringing Travis back to the real world. "I care about my daughter."
"Katie?" Travis whispered. He hated being around gods, really. It always made him uncomfortable and his lungs never seemed able to get enough air.
"No," Demeter drawled, sarcasm dripping off of her words. "I came here to nag you about Persephone."
"Shouldn't you be talking to Hades about this, then?" Travis also lost most of his sense of humor when around gods and goddesses.
She rolled her eyes once again and Travis was allowed to smile for the first time since the goddess appeared. The act of annoyance reminded him of Katie. He really hoped that she wasn't hearing this from her spot on the bed. "I came to talk to you about Katie."
"Oh," he added in a small voice. "What about her?"
"I wanted to discuss this new . . . thing you two have got going on."
"I meant to ask you before I proposed and all, but I just kinda-"
"I was not talking about the proposal," Demeter interrupted, cutting him off midsentence. "I was talking about sex."
Travis tried. He really did. He tried so hard. Really, really hard. . . . But he just couldn't do it. He snickered. A goddess just said sex. Te he! You can't not laugh when you hear that coming out of an immortal's mouth. "Are you laughing at me?" Her teeth were gritted and her finger was up in accusation.
"N-No ma'am," he mumbled as she stepped closer and closer, finger poking into his chest. Without meaning to, she seemed to be growing taller and taller, into her normal size on Olympus.
"You were laughing because I said sex weren't you? Weren't you?"
The laugh came much quicker this time. Travis clamped a hand over his mouth quickly, thrashing his head from side to side. "I didn't laugh, I swear!"
"Really?" Demeter asked, getting red in the face. "Then who did? The toothbrush?" She motioned to the mechanical toothbrush charging in its pedestal balancing on the edge of the sink.
"Well," Travis said quietly while shrugging. "It's one of those new robotic, mechanical ones made in Japan. They have a mind of their own." He smiled slightly, trying to look innocent. Katie always went easier on him when he flashed her that smile. Travis just hoped that Demeter was more like her daughter than just the looks and the small habits.
"You know what, you little-" Demeter stopped herself, shrunk down to normal, human size, and took a step back. "No," she said to herself. "You promised no more hurting helpless, idiotic demigods. No matter how annoying." She glared at Travis. Taking a deep breath and trying to soften up her look, she said, "So you plan on marrying my daughter?"
Travis nodded mutely.
"I see," Demeter mumbled. "And what about kids? Do you plan on having any?"
She seemed to have caught him off guard. He sucked in a breath through his teeth, and his eyes grew to the size of saucers. "I-I . . . We never really talked about it."
"Is that a no?"
"I . . . I don't know. Maybe someday."
Demeter nodded in approval. "But what if she is already pregnant?"
If it was possible, Travis's eyes got even wider. "Ex-excuse me?" His voice went up a few octaves near the end. His voice hadn't cracked so badly since he went through puberty.
She chuckled at his disheveled manner, but she went back to her serious state after only a few seconds. "I said, what if she is already pregnant? What would you do if you had already planted your seed in her, just last night?"
"Technically it was this morning," Travis muttered under his breath. The goddess glared at him. "Anyways," he continued, "it's really okay, Lady Demeter." Travis didn't seem okay, though. He started worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, and his face was flushed. "I used protection." After swearing under his breath at his squeaky voice, Travis looked up to find Demeter chuckling once more and shaking her head.
"That 'protection' is not all that protective, young demigod." He raised his eyebrows in confusion. "Those things only work ninety-seven percent of the time. You do know that, right?" He just kept staring. "They do write it on the box." More staring. "But hey, maybe for once in your life you will be lucky and you will be part of that ninety-seven percent."
Travis cleared his throat and shook his head. He noticed that his heartbeat had increased quite a bit. Why was he worried? She was just being an annoying goddess trying to protect her daughter and ruin his dreams, right? . . . Right. "What . . . what would happen if I was part of that three percent? Would there be a chance it wouldn't, you know . . . fertilize?" he asked her as if she was the Oracle of Delphi and she knew everything.
Demeter chuckled once more. Gods, he hated that chuckle. "Have you ever wondered, young demigod, why there are so many of your kind? Why there are so many heroes out there?"
"The gods are horny bitches?" When she glared, he offered that smile once more. She did not enjoy it.
"No," she snapped. "Gods are very powerful people. That means that even their cells are powerful, including sex cells." The corners of Travis's lips turned up a bit. Demeter sucked in a breath through her nose in frustration. "Our sex cells never miss."
"So, like, whenever you guys get it on . . ." Travis trailed off at the end of his sentence while biting on his lip. Not only was this slightly funny, but Travis found it extremely annoying as well. All he wanted when he came in here was to go pee. Now he was getting a sex ed. lesson from his fiancé's mother. Wonderful.
Demeter nodded. "Someone ends up pregnant." Travis swallowed. "And guess what, young man? You are part god. That means that half of you, half of the cells that make up your body, are from your father." She smiled down at him. "But hey. Maybe your 'protection' actually worked." She continued to smile as she backed away from him, towards the spot where she had first appeared a few minutes ago. "And if not . . ." Demeter shrugged. "I wish you the best of luck, young demigod." As Travis glanced away towards the shower, she went into her true form and zapped off to Olympus, leaving the faint smell of freshly baked bread and newly picked flowers in the air.
Travis stepped away from the wall and let out a sigh he hadn't noticed he'd been holding. After a few minutes of just standing towards the mirror, looking at his reflection, and soaking in all the things that had happened in the last few minutes, he twisted the handle of the bathroom door and stepped back out into the bedroom.
He found Katie sitting up in bed, the sheet pulled up around her, covering her bare chest. She rubbed her eyes with one hand and pushed back her messy hair. "Were you just talking to yourself?" she asked, her voice slightly groggy from sleep.
Travis smiled and walked back over to the side of the bed. "No, I was just . . . Conner called me."
She squinted over to the bedside table. "Isn't your phone right there?"
"Yeah," he said, laying back down in the bed and pulling Katie down and into his side. "Then whose phone was I just using?"
Katie smiled and laid her head down on his chest. She started drawing small circles on his chest. "I love you."
"Love you, too," Travis muttered.
Travis gritted his teeth and stuffed another shirt into his duffle bag. He hated himself for doing this, but she couldn't just expect him to be perfectly fine after dropping something like that on him unexpectedly. The smell of burnt bread and rotting flowers interrupted his thoughts, but Travis didn't look up. He just kept packing.
Travis heard Demeter sigh, and he had a feeling she was standing with one hip out and her arms crossed across her chest the same way Katie did when she was pissed. No, he scolded himself. Don't think about her. Just pack.
"You're really going to do this?" Demeter asked him while he folded up a few shirts and stuffed them in his bag. "You're really just going to leave her like this, when she's most vulnerable?"
"You don't understand," Travis said through gritted teeth when he finally looked up at the goddess. She was glowering at him venomously.
"You don't think I understand? You really don't think I understand?" She shook her head. "You don't think I know what it's like every time I have a child with a man that I love, and I have to watch that child grow up every day without me?"
"This is different," he mumbled, walking by Demeter and over to the bathroom, fumbling through the draws looking for toothbrushes and other assorted toiletries.
She placed a fake smile on her face and turned towards the demigod. "You're right," she said, her smile slowly fading. "There is a difference. My children and their fathers knew I was leaving. I didn't leave them, four weeks pregnant, while they were taking a nap on the couch, expecting me to be there, loving them, as soon as they woke up. I didn't leave them with a crappy letter as my only explanation. I didn't leave them-"
"I get it!" Travis shouted, cutting her off midsentence.
"Do you really?" Demeter walked back over to the boy. He was just standing there, staring at the tube of toothpaste in his hand.
Travis sighed through his nose and slowly closed his eyes. He bit his lip and paused before talking again. "I just . . . I just can't do this." He glumly shook his head.
"And why not?"
There was silence once again before Travis spoke. "I'm not ready." Travis became startled and opened his eyes when Demeter placed a hand on his shoulder in comfort. He looked up into her eyes, and she squeezed his shoulder slightly. "I can't do this. I don't want to be a father, not yet. I'm twenty-two years old. I haven't done anything with my life yet. I . . . I'm not ready to be a father. I haven't gone to college, and my job's crap. Katie and I aren't even married yet! I . . . I just can't do it." Travis shook his head and shrugged Demeter's hand off of his shoulder, walking back over to his bag to put away his toiletries.
"Are those really all the reasons?" she asked, watching him precisely as he zipped up his bag. "Is that it?"
Travis bit his lip once more, closing his eyes, and inhaling a deep breath. "She doesn't deserve me." They stood in silence a bit more. Demeter wasn't going to interrupt. He opened his eyes and stared at her. The goddess was slightly surprised to see tears in his eyes. "I don't want to leave them," he whispered, "but she doesn't deserve me."
"And why not?"
"Katie's . . . Katie is so many kinds of wonderful. She gorgeous, and smart, and funny, and kind, and she's going to be the best mother in the world. But me . . . I'm me. I'm annoying, and immature, and idiotic, and she could just do so much better. Do you know how many guys were drooling over her at camp? Do you know how many people I had to go through just to get to her? Anyone in the whole world, except maybe Hitler or something, could be a better father and better husband than me.
"Katie wanted to open up her own flower shop and start a business and have a good, successful life. And she was so close. But now look at her. She's knocked up, and she can't do any of those things. Not for a while, anyways. All of that happened because of me. I'm dragging her down and ruining a great life that she deserves to have. What have I done with my life? Nothing. I've sat around and done nothing. While she's out getting a degree and working her ass off, I'm just sitting here, watching the Texans get crushed and eating stale potato chips. Katie and the baby deserve ten times better than me."
Travis expected some big denial coming from Demeter. That's what always happened in the movies. Even if she hated him, he still was predicting a giant 'No, Travis. You're great for who you are!' But instead he got "You're right."
"Excuse me?"
"I said you are right. Katie does deserve someone much better than you. You are immature, and stupid, and you have a terrible sense of humor. She could have easily fallen in love with a lawyer or a doctor, but no. She had to go and fall in love with you." He hung his head and started grabbing for his bag when a soft hand with dirt under the fingernails knocked the bag on to the floor. Travis gaped up at the goddess. "But," she said, "you love Katie. A lot. And she loves you, for reasons that I absolutely cannot see." He smiled slightly, but it faded quickly.
"And when you love someone that much, you have to let them go sometimes." He grabbed his bag up off the ground and started walking towards the door.
"But what about the baby? She needs a father." Travis paused halfway to the door.
"She?" he asked. His voice was back to squeaking once again. How come Demeter could always do that to him?
She nodded. "Mmhm."
Travis closed his eyes and bit his lip. He wasn't going to cry. He was not going to cry. "It's a girl."
"Mmhm."
He turned around and stared at the goddess, his eyes burning and watery. It hurt him so badly to do this. He took a deep breath. "I told you," Travis said, voice cracking and tear running down his cheek. "I can't be a father."
Demeter sighed and walked forward, placing her hand on his shoulder once again. This time, he did not shrug it off or wince. He let her place her hand there, and he secretly liked the small gesture of comfort. "Travis," she sighed. He looked up into her eyes. She had never called him by his name before. "You really are an idiot. To think that you aren't worthy enough, to think that Katie could do better." She shook her head and tsked. "I'm disappointed in you. I have never seen anyone love Katie the way that you do. Never in her life has anyone looked at her the way that you do. Her dad didn't even look at her like that."
"That's exactly why I need-"
"No, no, no. I'm not done. I have never seen her look at anyone the way she looks at you either. If you leave her tonight, you will be crushing her beyond belief. She won't know how to go on with life if you leave tonight. And what about the baby? What about your little girl? She needs a father." Travis opened his mouth to protest but he shut it when the goddess sent him an angry glare.
"You will be a good father," she said. "So what if you didn't go to college and you have the terrible misfortune of being one of the only men in the world to be a secretary? So what? That little girl won't care. She won't look at that. She's going to look at all of your achievements; you fought against Kronos for gods' sake! She's going to look at how much you love Katie and how much you love her, and that's what she's going to care about. And if you truly hate that you didn't go to college, that's what community college is for! Idiot adults who didn't think to go right after high school."
Travis did not smile. With a tear streaming down his face he looked up at Demeter and whispered a hushed, "I'm sorry."
Demeter threw her hand off of his shoulder and puffed an angry sigh. She glared down at him, but he did not meet her gaze. He stared down at his shoes, determined not to let a goddess see him cry.
"I'm sorry, too," she scolded. "I'm sorry that I believed in you. I'm sorry that you don't believe in yourself! I'm sorry that you seriously think that you don't deserve Katie, that you're too pathetic for her or for your own child! I'm sorry that I stood here today, and wasted my perfect time here, trying to convince you of the obvious! I'm sorry that that poor little girl inside my daughter's stomach will never get to meet her father because, yes, he is an asshole who left her and doesn't even love her! I'm-"
"Don't you say that," Travis muttered between clenched teeth as he glowered up at the goddess. "Don't you say that I don't love my daughter."
"If you really loved her, you wouldn't be leaving right now." Demeter matched his evil glare with her own, her nostrils flaring. She sighed angrily through her nose while she turned around on her heel. Without any warning, she disappeared in a flash of light, leaving the smell of moldy, burnt bread.
Travis stood where he was for at least fifteen minutes, staring at the spot on the floor where Demeter had disappeared. Travis walked over to the bed, set his bag down, and started unpacking.
Travis smiled as he looked down at the small baby girl in his arms. He couldn't believe it. He made her. He made this beautiful little creature in his arms. He couldn't believe it. Looking over at Katie in the hospital bed next to him, his smile widened. Her hair was stuck to the nape of her neck from perspiration and the bags under her eyes were dark. She looked so peaceful in her sleep. You never would have guessed that she had been screaming her lungs out in pain just an hour earlier.
Travis glanced up when he smelt the scent of freshly mown grass. Demeter appeared next to the window that was spilling sunlight into the room. She walked over to Travis and stood next to his chair, looking down at the child in his arms. "She's gorgeous," Demeter muttered.
He looked up at the goddess and then back down at the girl. "She really is, isn't she?"
"Her name?" she asked, motioning to Travis that she wanted to hold the child. Travis hesitated a bit before handing her over.
"Amaryllis Lily Stoll," he told her as she took the bundle into her own arms. She smiled down at the small baby. "But we call her Mary."
"Lovely," she whispered. "Did Katie pick it?" Demeter looked up from the girl and glanced at her father.
Travis smiled and nodded his head. "If it was a girl, she chose. If it was a boy, I chose."
She glanced at him again with raised eyebrows. "Did I not tell you the child was female?"
"You did." He shrugged. "I just wanted Katie to be happy."
They stood in silence for a few minutes, Demeter holding Mary, and Travis watching Katie sleep. "Why'd you do it?" Demeter suddenly asked, breaking the quiet peace.
He looked up. "Do what?"
"Take my advice and stay with them. Why'd you end up doing it?"
Was it just her imagination, or did he blush? "I thought about what you said, and you were right. I couldn't do that to Katie or to Mary. I couldn't do that to myself either."
She smiled. "I see," Demeter said, handing the baby back to her father. He took her gratefully, happy to have her back in his hands. "Why haven't you two tied the knot, though?"
"Oh." Travis smiled and glanced over at Katie. "She didn't want to look 'fat' going down the aisle." He shrugged. "I tried to explain to her that I thought the pregnancy made her look more hot than normal, but she wouldn't listen."
This time, Demeter smiled. "She spent too much time with those Aphrodite girls when you went to that camp." Travis agreed.
"I just . . ." Travis trailed off, glancing up at the goddess and smiling slightly. "I just wanted to say thank you. For everything. If it wasn't for you, I'd probably be out on the street right now, miserable that I missed this day."
Smiling back, she nodded. "My pleasure."
They stood in silence for a bit longer, both just watching Mary stir around in Travis's arms.
"I must get going now," Demeter said, breaking the silence unexpectedly.
"So soon?" Travis asked. He had started to somewhat enjoy the goddess's visits. He hadn't seen her since Katie first became pregnant and they weren't all that friendly at the time.
She smiled down at him. "I really shouldn't have come here in the first place. I did not even ask Zeus for permission before leaving. I really should get back."
"Oh, okay," Travis said, standing up as the goddess was about to go.
"Oh yes," she remembered, right before leaving. She turned around to face Travis and spoke. "What did you have for breakfast this morning?"
Travis was startled. "Um . . . I don't know. Waffles." It came out more as a question than a statement.
"I see." She nodded. "And yesterday?"
Travis shook his head before answering. "I don't think I ate breakfast yesterday."
"Just as I suspected," she mumbled. She looked up at the demigod. "You need more cereal."
"Excuse me?"
"The last time I was at your apartment there was not a single trace of cereal, and from your telling me I'm guessing that you don't eat it much, do you?"
"No, not really."
"Hmm." Demeter shook her head. "You should. It's good for the colon."
She was gone before Travis could ask any more questions.
"Travis," Katie moaned from the bed. He hurried over to the side of the bed.
"Hey," he whispered, handing Mary over to her mother.
She smiled as she held the baby, opening her hospital gown so she could feed. "Was someone here?" she asked him, her voice slightly groggy from her nap.
Travis shook his head. "No one," he said as he pushed her hair back from her face and behind her ear.
"I thought I heard you talking to someone." She looked up at him expectantly.
"No one, my love," he whispered, bending over her to kiss her forehead. He went up and kissed the top of her head too. "I love you, you know," he mumbled against her hair.
"I know," Katie said as he sat back down next to her on the bed and starting stroking Mary's small tuft of black hair on the top of her head with his thumb. "I love you, too."
He smiled. "I know."