L is for Lines
50 Pick Up Lines Travis Stoll Really Shouldn't Have Used on Katie Gardner
1) "Pardon me, but I seem to have lost my phone number. Do you think I could borrow yours?"
2) "You know how scientists say the skin is the largest organ on the human body?" "Yeah." "Well, not in my case."
3) "Did it hurt?" "Did what hurt?" "When you fell from heaven."
4) "Are you running out of breath?" "I'm sorry?" "From running through my head all night."
5) "Did the sun just come up or did you smile at me?"
6) "Your lips just look so lonely. Would they like to meet mine?"
7) "Katie, do you work at Subway?" "No . . ." "Really? Cuz you just gave me a five dollar foot long."
8) "My name's Doug. That's 'god' spelled backward with a little bit of you wrapped up in it." "Your name's Travis." "Sigh. You totally just ruined that."
9) "Do you have your tickets yet?" "To what?" *Flexes arm muscle* "The gun show!"
10) "Um, Katie, I'm doing a poll around camp to see how many females have pierced nipples."
11) "If your right leg's Thanksgiving and your left leg's Christmas, I wanna visit you in between holidays."
12) "Are you a parking ticket? Cuz you've got fine written all over you."
13) "If you were a booger, I'd pick you first."
14) "Do you have a Band-Aid? I just scraped my knee falling for you."
15) "I know what you should be for Halloween." "What?" "A light switch. Every time I see you, you turn me on."
16) "Is that cannon fire? Oh wait! It's just my heart pounding!"
17) "Of course there's lots of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd love to catch and mount back at my place."
18)"Eros called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back."
19) "Do you know how aardvarks make love?" "No . . ." "Yeah, neither do I. But I know how humans make love. I think we need a demonstration."
20) "Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too."
21) "If Princess Peach looked like you, I would have killed Bowser years ago."
22) "Is your name Gillette? Cuz you're the best a man can get." "My name's Katie. You've known me for, like, five years now, Travis." "I know. It's just . . . sigh. Never mind."
23) "If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever."
24) "Ya certainly put the shiver in me timber." "Excuse me?" "Nice poop deck on ya, lassie. Care fer a swabbin'?" "What!" "Is there an 'X' on the seat of your pants? Because it appears that there's wond'rous booty buried underneath!" "Since when the Hades did you become a pirate?" "Sigh. Conner said chicks dig pirates." "I'm more of a ninja kind of girl."
25) "The name's Stoll. Travis Stoll. And I like my milkshake shaken," *flips hair* "not stirred."
26) "My love for you is like a level 68 blood elf hunter, with season 6 gladiator helmet."
27) "Do you come here often?"
28) "Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes."
29) "I have only three months to live."
30) "Did you know, Katie, that 90% of all rape begins with the touch of a shoulder?" *Touches Katie's shoulder*
31) "If you were a tear in my eye, I wouldn't cry. Not only because of my masculinity, but in fear of losing you." (She blushed at this one! Score!)
32) "Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?"
33) "Your eyes are like the cube off Transformers that turns all the Transformers to life, cuz when I look in your eyes, they make me feel alive."
34) "Did you just fart?" "It was that spider over there, I swear!" "Cuz you blow- What!"
35) "Hey, the Lucky Charms dude was right! There was a treasure at the end of the rainbow!"
36) "I have an owie on my lip." "I'm sorry." "Wanna kiss it and make it better?"
37) "Are you a magic mushroom because you're making me grow?"
38) *Places hand on Katie's thigh* "Are you nervous?"
39) "May I?" "May you what?" "Take a picture. I need Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas."
40) "Well here I am! What were your other two wishes?"
41) "I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long."
42) "If I was a stampeding wildebeest running through the Savannah, you would be my watering hole."
43) *Holds out hand out to Katie* "I'd like my breath back from when you took it away."
44) "Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"
45) "Do you have a boyfriend?" "No . . ." "Do you want one?" "I don't know. Maybe." "Well, when you want a manfriend, come and give me a call."
46) "That's a nice set of legs you've got there, Katie." "Um . . . thanks?" "No prob. When do they open?"
47) "I'd rather ride you than Yoshi any day."
48) "Kiss me if I'm wrong but is your name . . . Sarah?" Slap! "That wasn't a kiss, Katie!"
49) "I may look like an Ewok, but I'm all Wookie where it counts." "I'm sorry?" "You've been looking for love in Alderaan places!" "What?" "You've never seen Star Wars, have you?" "No . . ." "Oh, Katie. What are we going to do with you?"
and . . .
50) "Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved, and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death. So for my health and yours, just say yes."
How did he still end up getting her? The world may never know.